To Be Continued

Part-Time Mom Recipes

2009-11-09T14:05:00.002-05:00

I've been taking care of my nephews for the past couple of weeks. This isn't like before, when I was working the hours Lauren was working and getting Monday and Friday off...this is full-time. I'm the one the boys are waking up between 4:30 and 6 AM (curse you, daylight savings) and I'm the one cooking meals and praying that the Daddy will get home in time to put the boys to bed (Wil has been working long days, we both have been running low on sleep and patience). I do love the time I get with the boys...they are getting so big and they are funny people to be around...but it's exhausting to be with them alone for 12 or more hours. What do you do with them for that much time!? How could it possibly all be fulfilling, enriching time spent? It can't. I'm sorry, but at 5AM I'm pretty much only good for forced cuddles while eating dry cereal, drinking milk and watching a show (all of which I sleep through). By the time 8 o'clock rolls around, we are a quarter of the way through our day and I want to cry.

So, by the time 4 o'clock rolls around (hallelujah) I have very little time/energy/brain cells left to think of and execute a successful dinner. I know this isn't new to you moms, I know I'm not the only one feeling that way...I've seen my sister go through the same thing. But this week, I discovered a few helpful recipes that were quite successful. The boys (including Wil) ate everything without a fuss and I didn't spend too much time cooking. So here are the lifesavers of my week for you, because I love you.

Biscuits and Gravy

Homemade sausage gravy and store bought biscuits (because this week has definitely taught me that I cannot bake bread). I prefer the fluffy layer biscuits...they taste so delish. This whole process probably takes about 20 minutes. Cook up one pound of breakfast sausage and drain all but two tablespoons of grease. Add about 2 tablespoons of flour and stir, then pour in a cup of milk per tablespoon (your burner should be turned down to medium heat at this point). You can add more milk later if the gravy is too thick...that's all personal preference. Once everything is all one consistency (meaning there's no runny milk, just thick gravy), put it on low to keep it warm. You can either cook the biscuits while you make the gravy so it all is done at the same time or you can finish up the gravy and then cook the biscuits. I usually do them separate since I want the biscuits to be warm when we eat and the gravy is easier to warm up.

I don't know if this is Wil's favorite (I know he prefers homemade biscuits) but he eats plenty of it. It's one of my favorite meals. Monkey eats the biscuits and the gravy and Bug just eats the biscuits. I usually give them fruit too.

Homemade Pizza

We had an extra tin of biscuits so I cut them in half the next day for lunch and made mini pizzas. I just used some store bought pizza sauce, cheese and pepperoni (for Monkey). The boys loved them, but I wasn't worried about that. What kid doesn't like pizza? It was a nice way of using up what we had in the fridge. A couple nights later, I picked up a pizza dough and made a regular sized pizza for all of us. We were going to just make the dough, but naps got in the way. Having all the pizza fixings on hand makes it so easy to just whip something up...even if I just use regular sandwich bread, the boys will always eat it.

Turkey Enchiladas and Quesadillas

Tortillas, enchilada sauce, taco seasoned ground turkey and cheese. Cook your turkey, pour a little enchilada sauce in with the turkey and a little on the bottom of the pan. Fill tortillas with meat and a little cheese, roll and place in pan. Pour remaining sauce on top and sprinkle a little more cheese. Bake on 350 till the cheese is bubbly. Bug and Monkey won't really eat these, but us adults like them and they are so easy to make. I usually just use any extra ingredients to make them a quesadilla. Sometimes it's just cheese. Last night it was cheese and beans and meat for Monkey and cheese and beans for Bug (Bug doesn't really eat meat, who knows where that came from). We had corn and beans on the side and everyone was happy.

And this was by far, my favorite.

Homemade Play Dough

2 cups flour
4 tablespoons cream of tartar
1 cup salt
2 tablespoons oil
2 cups boiling water

Mix it all together, add some food coloring and knead it. Let the kid play, get some peace and quiet. Ours is still going strong a week later - not drying out and not crumbling. It doesn't make as much of a mess as the store bought and I don't mind it being on the table where the boys will be eating since it's all edible ingredients. It isn't tasty, but if Bug were to eat some I wouldn't freak out.

So there you have it. The recipes that gave me peace of mind this week. They were quick and easy and side vegetables and fruits made up for the lack of nutrition. That and the fact Monkey eats practically all day long, so he gets plenty of fruits and veggies before dinner.

Dear Blog,

2009-11-04T21:39:00.003-05:00

So. The truth is I have been neglecting you. I feel the need to post, the desire to post, but when I go to write my mind is blank. Yes, I've been cheating on you with other blogs, but they are worthwhile and important (especially the blogject). Should I feel guilty? Because I kind of do.

The thing is, while I feel like I am making progress with things in my life, I still don't feel like I'm at a place where sharing my personal thoughts is going to be entertaining or fulfilling (read: not depressing). I post mostly to share my thoughts...good or bad. I really have no idea who actually reads my posts, but this year just feels like the kind of year I don't want to document. So, blog, don't hate me. Eventually I will have an idea of what to say and will actually be able to say it and you will be the first place I turn.

Sincerely,
Me

So...

2009-11-02T22:42:00.002-05:00

Then there's this:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/105338/the-office-subtle-sexuality-the-music-video

Oh Internets, how I love you.

This song has limitless potential...

2009-11-02T16:21:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy5JwYOlgvY

A Second Halloween Miracle

2009-10-31T23:55:00.002-04:00

They are all in one picture!! And the sad faces are appropriate!! And no one is running out of the frame!!

Oh, Halloween, I can't wait for you to come again.

A Halloween Miracle

2009-10-31T23:13:00.002-04:00

This could also just be a regular, everyday miracle, but I discovered it on Halloween weekend so Halloween gets the credit.

I recently purchased a few new makeup items from Mary Kay. I tried red lipstick for the first time in my life (and committed to buying my first tube of lipstick ever) and I bought some much needed foundation (powder foundation that goes on in seconds and stays all day). I got a couple of things that I wanted to return, though, so I went to my friend's house and perused the makeup. I came across a tube of eye primer and I asked her about it. Would it keep my makeup from gathering under my eyes, creating even darker circles? Would it keep my eye makeup from gathering into my eye creases? Basically, was this the answer to all my makeup woes?!

Well, here is the answer (in a very creepy close up photo of my eyelids, heavily made up):

Yes, those are fake eyelashes. No, I don't usually wear that much peacock blue eyeshadow. This was taken at approximately 3 AM after I arrived home from a dance. That makeup was applied at approximately 6 PM AND I was dancing for hours in a hot, sweaty barn with lots and lots of hot, sweaty people. You will notice how it is all still evenly applied and not darkening my under eye region.

Today, when I put on more Halloween make up (more fake eyelashes and normal eyeshadow), I sang a love song to my eye primer. I will never go without eye primer again. Sigh.

I'm so excited for Halloween.

2009-10-28T15:07:00.001-04:00

That is all.

Friends laugh together.

2009-10-26T14:28:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about certain friendships I have lately and have been curious about something. Can anyone else categorize their friendships based on freaky strange coincidences in regards to musical, movie, TV or clothing taste? Because I can do that.

Like Alyssa, for instance. Alyssa and I have been friends for nearly two years now and we dress alike quite often. We did it when we saw each other several times a week and we do it now when we are only seeing each other once a month or so. It's not the same exact outfit, but it's eerily close. Most recently, it was jeans, tan shirts, black vests and a chunky necklace and scarf. It's random and funny and I love it.

Another example is Megan. We generally are in the mood for the same movies, music or TV at the same time. I will catch her online and one of us will mention a movie or tv show or song that we recently watched and/or listened to and chances are that the other one watched or listened to the same thing (or something incredibly similar) within a day of each other. Just the other day, we both stopped talking to each other online because we were watching The Nightmare Before Christmas...and neither of us knew this until after the fact ("Sorry I didn't respond, I was sewing and watching Nightmare Before Christmas." "Me too!"). At the same time! That is weird, right?

Corynn and I generally listen to similar music as well...and children's programming.
Miri and I get addicted to the same facebook applications, but that's mostly on purpose. I still love it, though.

Lauren and I are the same person, so most of our similarities make sense, but we tend to get the same haircuts. The only exception is when I cut my hair above my shoulders, because Lauren never cuts her hair that short (at least not since high school and the 80s). Even when we lived 2,000+ miles apart. She would get her hair cut and I would get my hair cut and we would describe our hair to each other or see a photo and we would be like, "Wow. We did it again. Same exact hair."

So does this happen with anyone else? Is it strange or does it just seem strange to me?

Bubs

2009-10-24T18:06:00.003-04:00

I've been trying to get more video of the boys lately. They are both saying and doing such funny things. Today Bubs was being silly. At one point he climbed up on Lauren's lap and just went "La la la la la la laaaaaaaa!" He sings and dances all the time. He has started singing along to specific songs. His favorites of the week are Sweet Caroline, Bushel and a Peck, The Ugly Duckling song from Hans Christian Andersen and Hold on Tight from Backyardigans. For a long time now, he has "snapped" to music. He sees me snapping or patting my hand on my knee to the beat and imitates it. So cute. It took us a while to figure out what he was doing with his hands was actually snapping because he just rubs his little fingers together.

Anyway, here is what I caught on film today. When he stops to fold his arms it is because I was standing behind my computer (which was taking the footage) and I stepped back and folded my arms to watch him. Then I put my hands on my hips and he copied me...which is a new thing he is imitating recently.

Best Post Ever.

2009-10-23T21:28:00.002-04:00

If you have ignored all the other awesome things I have shared with you since starting this blog, well now is the time to pay attention.

Annie shared this link with me so she gets the pleasure of being an example. What you do is you input some stuff in the box. A sentence, a blog post, whatever. Here is my original text:

Annie is the most amazing person in the world. She rocks. I hope she doesn't mind that I sat on her bed when we were roommates in college.

When you are done, you can submit the text with a smaller dictionary or a larger dictionary depending on how many words you want to be made available.

This is what I got with the larger dictionary:

N+1

Annie is the most amazing persona in the worm. She rockers. I hopeful she doesn't minder that I sat on her bedbug when we were roosts in collie.

N+2

Annie is the most amazing personage in the worrier. She rockeries. I hopper she doesn't mine that I sat on her bedchamber when we were roosters in colliery.

N+3

Annie is the most amazing personality in the worry. She rockets. I horde she doesn't minefield that I sat on her bedfellow when we were roots in collision.

N+4

Annie is the most amazing personnel in the worship. She rods. I horizon she doesn't miner that I sat on her bedpan when we were ropes in colloquialism.

N+5

Annie is the most amazing perspective in the worshipper. She rodents. I hormone she doesn't mineral that I sat on her bedpost when we were rosaries in colloquium.

N+6

Annie is the most amazing persuasion in the worth. She rodeos. I horn she doesn't minesweeper that I sat on her bedroll when we were roses in colloquy.

N+7

Annie is the most amazing perversion in the wound. She rogues. I hornet she doesn't miniature that I sat on her bedroom when we were rosebuds in colon.

N+8

Annie is the most amazing pervert in the wraith. She roles. I horoscope she doesn't minibus that I sat on her bedsitter when we were rosettes in colonel.

N+9

Annie is the most amazing peseta in the wrangle. She rolls. I horror she doesn't minicab that I sat on her bedspread when we were rosters in colonial.

N+10

Annie is the most amazing peso in the wrapper. She rollers. I horse she doesn't minim that I sat on her bedstead when we were rostrums in colonialist.

N+11

Annie is the most amazing pessary in the wrapping. She romen. I horsefly she doesn't minimum that I sat on her bee when we were rotas in colonist.

N+12

Annie is the most amazing pessimist in the wreath. She romances. I horseman she doesn't mining that I sat on her beech when we were rotations in colonnade.

N+13

Annie is the most amazing pest in the wreck. She romantics. I horseshoe she doesn't minion that I sat on her beef when we were rotors in colony.

N+14

Annie is the most amazing pesticide in the wrecker. She romps. I horsewhip she doesn't minister that I sat on her beefburger when we were rotters in colorcast.

N+15

Annie is the most amazing pestilence in the wren. She rondos. I horsewoman she doesn't ministry that I sat on her beehive when we were rotundas in colossus.

Oh boy. I tried to narrow those results down to my favorites, but I couldn't pick a favorite. I also just laughed so hard I am now crying. This thing is the best invention ever. My life is better having found it and yours should be too.

Like a Rolling Stone

2009-10-21T14:53:00.002-04:00

Remember how I love Yo Gabba Gabba because of the magical powers it holds over Bug? He loves that show. The past two days I have found sanity while Monkey is off playing with friends because of Yo Gabba Gabba. Bug asks sweetly for me to turn it on, he grabs a drink and the Magna Doodle and sits down on the couch to enjoy. He talks to the characters. He says hello and goodbye. He points and says "booh!" whenever a fish comes on the screen and "nana!" whenever a banana is shown. He makes silly faces and is totally amazed at all the cool tricks. He dances....this is my favorite part. Sometimes he gets down off the couch so he can learn the steps of the dancey dance - his favorite from the episodes we've been watching is the Peanut Butter Stomp. Other times, he stays on the couch, walking back and forth, shaking his head with one hand on his hip. It looks like a Mick Jagger imitation and it makes me laugh to no end. So. Stinking. Cute.

Disappeared!

2009-10-20T09:54:00.002-04:00

As I expected, I had an early morning. Wil is working in DC and had to take the train so he's gone today from 5AM to 7PM and Lauren is working down in MD so I have the boys all day. Of course Bug decided to wake up at 5:45. He drank his "boo" (bottle of milk) while I tried to get a couple more minutes of sleep. He was good and snuggled until 6:15, but no more sleep for either of us.

I was terrified any noise we made would wake up Monkey - he doesn't like being woken up, he has to do it himself if you want a truly happy kid. Monkey was sleeping in his parent's bed without a noise maker, so I couldn't close any doors to block sound. Bug and I moved down to the couch and watched some Yo Gabba Gabba (Halloween and Scary, very festive) while he finished his boo and ate "booboo" crackers (Goldfish - he can't say fish, and boo is pretty much his back up word for everything he can't say). And maybe that is where you might start judging me, but I feel no guilt. I will happily sit a kid in front of the TV with some fish crackers at 6AM in the hopes of catching a few more precious moments of sleep.

That all turned out nicely and Monkey came down at 7AM. He was still half asleep and complaining about not being able to find his blankie, but he (thankfully) was appeased with his Zizi blankie (the quilt I made him). He snuggled up to me and said, "Zizi, Daddy was sleeping in the bed with me, but then he disappeared!" That's when I decided we would probably be having a very nice morning. I turned on The Great Pumpkin (again, judge away, I don't care) and gave him a bowl of dry Apple Jacks while Bug ate some "you-you" (yogurt) and proceeded to be overwhelmingly cute. He modeled the new cape I made for him. Monkey lounged on the couch.

At one point, Monkey....um...passed some gas and I asked him about it. "Do you need to go potty?" "No, but some steam just came out of my Pull-Up when my butt burped!" Yeah. Awesome. Thanks for that.

Then I tried to take a shower. Both boys were happy and distracted so I went upstairs to shower as quick as possible, but Bug was not fooled. He followed me up there and started to undress himself and joined me. That made my shower twice as long as it should have been. Then I had to find clothes for the boys (Monkey has like 3 pairs of pants, all of which were hidden) while Monkey helped himself to another bowl of Apple Jacks. Did I care? Nope. Were we running late? Of course. Monkey picked out a red shirt and asked to wear it ("I love red!") and as I was putting it on, he gave me a hug and said, "Now am I the cutest ever!?" Of course he was!

So, basically, I'm hoping this morning was a good sign for the rest of the day. Monkey is off playing with friends and Bug is taking a morning nap. My strategy is to pretty much let them do whatever they want so as to avoid any and all tantrums. You want more Apple Jacks? Sure. Go for it. You want to walk around without pants even though it's 50 degrees? Sure. I'll just pull your socks up higher.

It should be a great day.

Schtuff

2009-10-17T08:37:00.002-04:00

Can you tell I've been babysitting again? I have a lack of posts when I babysit. It's not that things aren't happening, but when babysitting coincides with bronchitis, I have even less things to say when those two things are together...because who really wants to hear about all of those nasty details? I certainly don't and I'm the one they are happening to.

The other day we were listening to a cd I made for the boys and a song came on from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang that used the word "dear." Monkey asked me what that word meant and I told him it was a word for someone you loved. He said, "Zizi dear, I love you." I said, "Thank you, Adam dear." He said, "You're welcome, Zizi dear!!" It was adorable. I love that kid.

I spent a couple of days down with my nephews and niece and that was a lot of fun. They are getting so big and Hailey was so excited to see me. I got lots of tickles and cuddles which always makes me happy.

I still don't have a job (hence the babysitting) and that pretty much sucks big time. There's no sugar coating it. The end.

And finally, don't forget the blogject. www.becominglovely.blogspot.com

Doodle Bug

2009-10-09T12:35:00.002-04:00

The boys have been sick lately. First it was colds and sinus infections. Then Monkey got croup and Bug got a flu shot. The diapers have been horrifying and this morning he unleashed the contents of his stomach all over his mommy's lap, but he's been so cuddly. Part of me hates to see them sick and another part of me loves that I'm around to receive all the hugs and snuggles. Bug fell asleep in my arms this morning while I was on Facebook. He just snuggled up and hummed himself to sleep - that is not the norm. After his nap he asked me to tie a red pillow case around his neck for a cape and he happily walked around singing songs (sounding a whole lot like ABCs) and talking to Lightening McQueen (a large version that talks that he has been attached to this week).

And this is a bit of an overshare, but too funny not to record...I'll try to be as nice as possible. His diapers are kind of explosive. You can hear when he needs a change. The funny part is that "it" will happen and he'll say something that sounds a lot like "excuse me" with this sheepish look on his face.

At least we know these boys have a grasp of manners.

Miss Piggy

2009-10-05T21:46:00.002-04:00

I remembered. I was listening to this song thinking about how the lyrics are kind of funny. I loved this movie (well, all things Muppets really, especially Muppet Babies) when I was little.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npUdoua5JSs

When she grows up she is going to do the following things:

1. Be a movie star
2. Learn to drive a car
3. Be a veterinarian
4. Love Kermit the Frog
5. Be the "cutest model you ever saw"
6. Study criminal law
7. Learn to scuba dive
8. Be a singer
9. Learn to fly a plane
10. Be a doctor for diseases
11. Help Kermit with his sneezes
12. Practice neuro-surgery on Kermit's brain
13. Climb the Matterhorn
14. Have children with Kermit
15. Be a good mommy

That's quite the list. I don't think I was ever that ambitious.

Also, Baby Rolf playing the piano is just cute, right?

Meh

2009-10-05T13:35:00.002-04:00

I was driving back from Calvert County yesterday with my BIL and I was listening to music and I had a thought for a post. Then I became overwhelmingly sleepy and had to pull over and switch spots so I could take a nap. Now I've spent a good portion of yesterday and today trying to remember what I was going to blog about and I still can't think of it. It was good though, I promise.

I'm thinking it might have had something to do with Miss Piggy because I was definitely listening to music from The Muppets.

Also, I miss my sister and the boys. I spent the end of last week babysitting for another family (Wed-Sat) and now they are still down at my parents while my BIL and I are here in WV. It's too quiet. Although, it's probably better that they aren't here because I pretty much spend the whole night coughing and I'd be worried about waking them up.

And just in case you don't also read my sister's blog...go check it out and see for yourself how cute my nephews can be. My favorite part? Well, there's a few, but mostly it's "Lady and the Twamp" and Bug putting his finger on his nose to say "shhhh."

Hello There

2009-10-02T19:17:00.002-04:00

The four year old girl I've been watching keeps imitating a parrot. "Hello there!" She says it in this cute parrot voice.

We are watching Hannah Montana right now. I have a lot of issues with this movie - not to mention just Hannah in general. Mostly I don't understand how she does anything in the jeans she wears especially riding a horse. Also, she's not so good at the acting. Meh. And did you know Rascal Flatts is in the Hannah Montana movie? They're just hanging out with the rest of her family o' hicks.

Today I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics I started yesterday. In case you were wondering, that is not fun. I'm sure these kids think I'm a crazy. "You cough too loud!" "Why are you coughing so much?" etc etc etc. So my arms are all hot and red. It's the strangest reaction. I'm not a fan.

I'm exhausted. I'm sure it has everything to do with the illnesses and my inability to sleep longer than an hour without waking up, looking at the clock, coughing up a lung then rolling back over to start the entire process over again.

And another thing about the Hannah Montana movie. Do you think there was a bunch of old guys sitting around saying things like, "girls are really into Hannah Montana," "you know what else girls like? boys!" and "you know what ELSE they like!? HORSES!" Then they just threw all those things into a movie, added a couple of montages featuring Hannah acting like a doof, and BAM! Movie. Millions of dollars in their pockets.

Now I'm going to go pretend there is a part of me that doesn't hurt.

P.S. Don't forget the blogject.

oh there are things

2009-10-01T10:40:00.003-04:00

things are happening. i'm waiting to hear about a job...i'm terrified i won't get it because i have zero options if i don't. cross your fingers.

and then there's this, which is taking up quite a lot of my time...and your interwebs space because i am leaving links for it everywhere i can.

then i got fluff lung on the day i was supposed to start babysitting. i'm still babysitting all weekend - all the kids are older so i don't have to really touch them so there's some limit to the germ switching which is good, but i have spent most of my day trying to get some medicine without paying for a doctor's visit. it sure is fun! also, i am breathing like an old man with emphezema - weezing and squeaking and coughing anytime i start to laugh at all which makes watching the following clips enjoyable AND painful:

I'm not a giant fan of Jude Law - don't get me wrong, he's attractive, but he's not so much an impressive person. he does read poetry very nicely though.

and now i'm going to go and call the doctor some more before i have to start picking kids up from various places.

You will be overloaded with loveliness...

2009-09-28T00:01:00.002-04:00

And the day has finally come that I get to share my big idea with all of you out there in internet land. All 25 of you who read this blog in reader and the rest of you lurking lurkers.

It's a new blog, of course! But this time it's bigger and better. New and improved!

On How to be Lovely

The idea came to me and my friends (my lovely, talented and beautiful friends) shared in my excitement and we joined forces. Go read the first post and look for more to come! Add it to your subscriptions! Bookmark it! Tell your friends! And, most importantly, comment! Obviously, there won't be too much to comment on in the introductory post, but there will be more to come, I promise!

Look at all those exclamation marks and tell me I'm not excited. haha.

In all seriousness, I am so looking forward to what this new blog could become. A place where women of all ages and situations can come together and share experiences and thoughts, both funny and serious, about the things we all go through. I hope you will all check it out.

a backwards tour of my room...

2009-09-26T22:36:00.004-04:00

So blogger is crazy right now and not letting me edit very easily so we are going to do this tour backward. Well, as backward as you can get when all the pictures were basically taken from the exact same spot.

Here's the top of my bookcase. That's my fake plant and, yes, he does feel inadequate compared to my real plant, Greg Two. You will also notice the brown head I acquired at an antique shop down the street. I plan to buy an awesome hat and sit it atop that head.

My beautiful books finally have a proper place to sit...I can't wait to add to this collection.

I got that mirror for Christmas like 5 years ago. This is the first time it has been on a wall. I actually forgot I owned it till my mom mentioned that she thought it was still in a closet somewhere. This is behind the door and it's hung low enough for me to use when applying mascara and eyeliner because I like to get nice and cozy with the mirror during that process.

This is the mirror above my bed. It's mostly there because it's pretty and it makes the room feel a little larger. You will notice more books and the awesomest book ends known to man. Yep. It's a pineapple.
This is on one side of my bookshelf, closest to the door. That strip of blue is a fake hair extension I plan on using for Halloween.

And this is the other side of the wall by my bookshelf. I love it...even though I need to add some photos.
This is my chair. It is below the gallery wall and next to the bed and the bookshelf. You can kind of get an idea of how small the bedroom really is bc the bed is right there on the left hand side and the bottom of the bookshelf is nestled there in the bottom right hand corner. I'm lucky I found a bedside table that would work here (thank you target!).

That's my curtain wall. Notice the lamp I hung by myself (but do not notice the tag still on it) and notice the bed I constructed. I sanded, primed and painted that sucker, then I built it (with some help from Lauren). I'm pretty much amazing.

And there's the bed and the mirror and the shelf. I'm very happy with how it's all turned out and pretty proud of how well I'm utilizing the space...let me tell you, it was not an easy thing to figure out.

working

2009-09-25T23:48:00.003-04:00

Nope, I don't have a job yet, but I have been working on something. It's a pretty big idea for me and I'm very excited about it and lucky to have people around who are supportive and willing to help out.

So make sure to check back Monday for the "unveiling." It will be lovely.

Sarcasm

2009-09-22T13:03:00.001-04:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

High School

2009-09-18T16:34:00.002-04:00

I don't think I've mentioned this before. Sorry if I have.

Most of you know I only attended high school for three years. I got accepted early to Utah State and took a full year of English there to get my high school diploma and graduate with the rest of my class. I wasn't extraordinarily smart and I had no long term plan for my life - I just had to get out of that school. So I sat in the audience at my graduation with my best friend's family and I got my diploma in the mail like everyone else. I attended after graduation festivities and prom the week before, but everyone mostly just said hello and asked where I had been. I never wore a cap and gown (not even when I graduated college).

The most disturbing result of this decision from so many years ago is that I still have incredibly vivid dreams about not finishing high school. They are along the lines of me being home after graduating from BYU, realizing I have no high school diploma and having to go back to high school....as in physically attend my high school. The strange part is a lot of the same people are still there even though it is years later. Sometimes I go to one class sporadically and completely skip my science and math classes (which makes sense if you really know me) until it's time to take a final at which point I freak out because I don't know science and math! They are very stressful dreams and I wake up having to reassure myself that this situation would never happen. Even though it seems so incredibly real, it's just not.

maybe i should just pretend to eat half my food...

2009-09-18T16:01:00.000-04:00

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

Circumstances

2009-09-17T22:34:00.002-04:00

I have a friend named Garth. I met him when he was serving his mission in my home ward when I was in high school. He plays the piano and we bonded over our mutual love of Ben Folds. He married an awesome girl (who I haven't met yet) who made this video for an HP contest:

I voted for it several times. My favorite part is the line "these are just my circumstances." Then she goes on to say who she IS.

It's funny, but I don't think I've ever thought to stop and differentiate between who I am and what my circumstances are. At the same time, I generally don't get overly worried about my circumstances and I don't really link them with who I am as a person. Of course, that changed a bit this year...it seems losing my job (and all the other things that happened as a result) has taken it's toll on me and I have realized lately that I let my circumstances, to a certain degree, dictate who I am.

It's almost like I'm coming out of a fog...I'm feeling happy again. This move seems to be what I needed. Completely new people, new places, new everything and still the support of my family. I am making changes all over the place and trying to change my attitude. With all this change and newness, I'm exposed to new ideas and my mind is open and attentive. It's refreshing - like a giant sigh of relief.

I am a little annoyed with myself that I actually let my circumstances become so intertwined with my self worth. I didn't lose my job because of who I was or what I was doing - it just happened. I didn't move back home because I failed - I moved back home to avoid failure.

Here are my circumstances: I am 26 years old, single and on my way to regaining happiness and satisfaction. I live with my sister, her husband and her two young sons in West Virginia. I drive a Prius, I use a Mac and I have no job (yet). I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I graduated from BYU.

Here is who I am: I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an auntie. I am strong, loyal, and intelligent. I am quirky, silly, contemplative, talkative and nerdy. I am weak. I am an organizer, a do-er, a maker, a planner. I create. I sing. I dance. I laugh. I cry. I am happy being all of these things.

There is so much more! Can you tell the kind of day I'm having!? I just feel great. And it feels great to feel great again. Can I say "great" one more time? Great.