I was thinking about my earlier post and Lauren's comment on it and I realized where I've grown in this department. I'm not good at hiding my emotions or putting on a brave face - the difference now is that I don't expect or need anyone in my family to do those things, I expect them to be feeling the same way I am. When I was younger and dealing with things like this, it made me feel better to see that Lauren and my mom were holding it together - it stressed me out more to see my mom get upset. Now I am more aware of how this is effecting my mom and my Grandad and my other family members. Our worries are the same and that's comforting to me. I can't say no one else feels this way, I can't say I don't have anyone who can understand.
Of course that doesn't mean I don't wish we could all avoid worrying about and feeling these things...because obviously I want more than anything for things to be okay.
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