Dark Chocolate Macadamia Nuts

The title has nothing to do with this post - I just happen to be eating one of those right now.

I've been thinking of some things lately. Big things. Life changing things. Now I am going to put some of it out there because I've reached the point where I can no longer mull them over in my own mind and get anywhere productive.

Moving. That's right. I said it. I've thought of it dreamily for the last couple of months. Things like, I am going to move to England. And I've actually looked into doing so, but when my brother-in-law quit his job I went and told them that day that I would go where ever they did. I knew he would start looking out of state for jobs and it just felt like a good idea. I could still be near the boys and my Sissie. I LOVE living near my sister and I have a feeling I will find a way to finagle such an arrangement for the REST OF OUR LIVES. I am quite serious.

But now here are my questions.

Do I actively start looking for jobs in Dallas/Fort Worth and Utah?

Do I just wait to see where Wil gets a job and just pick up and leave with them THEN find a job when I move? I have looked around a little, but nothing too serious since I already have this job here in Maryland.

What if I get the answer that I should move but Lauren and Wil don't?

Am I prepared to get that answer and live away from my family again?

Am I brave enough to do so?

Do I really want to live in Utah or Texas? Seriously. Those two places do not top my list of places I want to live (no offense to those places or people from there, there are just more exotic and easternly locales I would like to be placed in) but they are the two places I am considering, mostly for social reasons.

What is life really going to be like for me here in Southern Maryland?

Do I really see myself finding a husband (or even a boyfriend) here? Let's be honest - I'm not marriage hungry and my life does not revolve around finding a husband, but isn't it important to at least put yourself in the position where the opportunities to date are there? Those opportunities are not very plentiful here and the distance alone from my house to my singles ward to the homes of my fellow ward members causes a lot of distraction.

Obviously this is something I am praying about and trying to figure out what is best for me and where I need to be - I just need to find the right questions to ask. That always seems to be the hardest part for me - forming the correct thoughts. Do I ask if I should move with Lauren and Wil to Texas or do I ask if I should move? Specific or blanket statement? Perhaps I'll ask it all till I get an answer. I'm fairly confident I have made the right decisions thus far in my life - I just need to keep trusting that.

The pros of moving to Texas or Utah would be these:

Closer to friends. Texas has the Murrays and Utah has, well, all of my friends from college except Mike and Jamie.

Wider social circle and more social opportunities.

Change of pace, change of scenery.

It would be a new and exciting adventure. I love those. It could also suck - but at least I will have done something!



Finally, here's something I haven't mentioned to ANYONE. I've been casually thinking about school again. I don't really want to pay for school and the cost alone could keep me out of there - but going back to grad school for something more specialized seems a tiny bit more appealing to me now than it has in the past. I can't even begin to think what I would need to do to figure all that out but thought it was a significant enough change from my previous "I'm so glad to be out of school I'm never going back again" mentality.